Friday, June 28, 2013

Superficial Submission vs. Pure of Heart Submission

How is submission viewed? One view is that the wife is required to submit to the husband's authority under all circumstances, without question. Another view is that the wife chooses behaviors (and is not "required" to obey), and the husband chooses the consequences. Essentially, it's cause and effect. Normally in these relationships, the wife has given her full permission, verbal, and even sometimes written consent over to her husband. Trust is a huge factor for both parties concerned. Many couples even use contracts that both parties write up together and agree upon before signing.

An often quoted passage of scripture states very plainly, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband us the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV)

I do not in any way believe that the Bible uses the term "submit" in the ESV to mean that the wife is slave to, beneath, or less than her husband. In the verse before this, it states, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife lives himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body." (Ephesians 5:25-30, ESV)

Husbands, YOU are responsible, in part, for your wife's salvation. No pressure right?

No, I am not advocating that domestic discipline marriages are biblical and that God has ordained men to "beat their wives", but God's Word does very clearly state how family is supposed to be structured and how the husband and wife are to relate to one another. In the book of Genesis, God created man before he created man before he created woman. He took part of Adam's rib to construct his "help mate" and "wife", Eve. Ladies, we would not be here if it weren't for men.

Now, there are different types of "submission" in my mind. Superficial and Pure of Heart, and they are drastically different. To me, superficial submission is essentially saying, "Yeah, OK. I will submit to what you want and do it your way (until you make me angry, at which point I will take over and make your life a living hell, cry that you are abusing me and controlling me, then take all the control back, because you clearly can't handle it and do not deserve that much respect from me)." Then, there is Pure of Heart submission that says, "I trust you. I know you want only what is best for me and our family. I want to take your rightful place of leadership in our home and guide me and our family, even if sometimes it is with a firm hand."

Also, if you and your spouse are already happy with your marriage as it is and see no reason to change things, then I am happy for you and wish you the best. This is by NO MEANS for everyone. This is simply my experience and opinion and you can take it or leave it. I do not care in the least and I am NOT trying to change anyone's mind about the current status of their marriages or dating relationships. I am simply offering a different point of view for consideration of anyone who would like to take the time to inquire about it and keep an open mind.

Now, this is not to say that submission in a relationship should be blind. On the contrary, one should enter this type of dynamic with their eyes wide open, which is why on several different websites and blogs it is HIGHLY recommended that LOTS of open, honest discussion and communication should take place before EVER trying to implement some of the principles and practices of this lifestyle. Both parties should have a clear view and firm grasp of what they are actually getting themselves into and agreeing to before implementing ANYTHING. It is also NOT recommended to make this part of your life if there HSS ever been a history of ANY type of abuse, neglect, or other mistreatment to one or both parties involved. This lifestyle choice is NOT an excuse to berate and beat your spouse or significant other.

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