Friday, June 28, 2013

What is Domestic Discipline?

What is a Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage?

In my own, personal definition, Domestic Discipline is the practice of two consensual adults in a mature, loving, devoted relationship that allows defined roles, expectations, rules, boundaries, and consequences for actions and a code for behavior that provides structure and strength within that relationship.

Many would view this type of marriage as abusive, controlling, BDSM, "kinky", and many other negative connotations. In fact, domestic discipline marriages and relationships have been around for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

An argument I find interesting is that if a wife is irresponsible and over spends the family budget and her husband decided to take her credit or debit cards away to curb her spending for a time that he decided is necessary for her to "learn her lesson", is this not the same thing as having a domestic discipline relationship? The wife chose to overspend the family budget (chosen behavior) and the husband took away her ability to spend the family money for a time that he deems necessary to ensure that she curbs her spending habits in the future (chosen consequence for the chosen behavior). I would wager to say that well over 80% of relationships in the United States alone practice some form of domestic discipline in their marriages. Husbands, if your wife was consistently disregarding the posted speed limits and bringing home hundreds of dollars worth of tickets, would you not at some point, take the keys to her car for a time and be sure she was not allowed to drive anywhere until she could prove to you that she could drive responsibly and not cost you a ton of money in tickets and rising insurance rates? It is the SAME THING as implementing consequences in a domestic discipline marriage.

Most people focus solely on the "kink" of spanking in these relationships, but there is so much more to it and it goes so much deeper than that. It's about trust for both parties involved. It's about eliminating power struggles that are very unhealthy in a marriage or other serious relationship. It's about having a means to deal with problems and issues that inevitably will arise so that shame, built, resentment, and power-struggles do not ensue, which will eventually weaken the bonds within that relationship or marriage. In domestic discipline relationships that I have encountered, there is actually zero "kink" involved. It is 100%, straight up, disciplinary measures taken to ensure the safety and well-being of everyone involved.

2 comments:

  1. Hi! We live a Domestic Discipline lifestyle.D

    We run 2 websites and membership is free today!
    www.domdisdatinguk.com and
    www.domesticdisciplineuk.ning.com

    Princess x

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  2. I had an incident recently and hurt myself. My therapist recommended DD for my fiance and I. I was leery at first. I believed the rumor and hype at first. Then Z and I talked to the doc and I understood. Thank you for blogging, it is nice seeing DD isn't the "soft-core" cousin to BDSM.

    Zahir and I are going to have our first "sit down discussion" after supper tonight. The Doc said our discipline side would have to be non conventional (no spanking) but the architecture of the DD relationship is scalable.

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